A complete 180

Wow where have I been hiding for the last couple months?? Creating a new life is all. Carl and I - eh, who really knows. We're broke up, we're trying again, he blows off my bday, he makes it up, yada yada I stopped keeping track! Now, however, he may be moving home to get custody of his daughter, in which case, there might be a viable chance at a relationship again if he's actuually HERE in TOWN!

Lol, at this point, however, I really do not care. My life no longer revolves around him, as I have been practicing the 11 Forgotten Laws, aka law of attraction. Not the hokey "oh beings are speaking to me from the great beyond", "I'm connecting with an ascended master ir spirit guide" blah blah blah; no, I am Catholic and thus I only believe in God and the "ascended" saints who walked this earth before me. However, I apparently have always been a pessimist trapped in a life of feeling lack and want, and WOW what a hard, grueling trip it's been turning a LIFETIME of consciousness around! "As we think, so we are"... haven't we all heard that proverb? Or Jesus preaching, "Whatever you as from the Lord, believe you have already received it, and you will get it", or "Knock and the door shall be opened; ask and ye shall receive," etc... I have never really pondered and dwelled upon it or had FAITH in it. I always dwell on what's wrong or what I'm missing or wanting, and I never get it! I'm so focused on lack. WELL, I've been focusing on my blessings, what I DO have, and feeling CONFIDENT what I need God will provide. I "see" what I need already in my house, etc, and it's been turning up! Today I got a free futon mattress that's been sat on all of 5 times. AND best of all, Carl is going to church too! A Holy week miracle lol.

I'm waffling on moving to my house or staying at Carls. His house is so much bigger and nicer, and of course, I dont have to pay any bills. however after months and thousands of dollars working on MY house, the kids wanna be there instead. My friend wants to rent it, which would be handy, but I think I may have to wait to see if Carl actually DOES move home, and go from there. People really shouldn't live together before marriage, I learned that much.

My website is hopefully about to come together. I set a goal now instead of dinkin around online all day reading gossip, playing Vampires on Myspace, and IMing, I'm actually gonna start putting my site in order. Writing articles, studying marketing, etc. I've been working out good, eating better, and all around becoming healthier again. I'm nicer to my kids. I'm not blowing my top all the time. I dont get pissy over things I cant control. I'm HAPPY without Wellbutrin!! Whaaaaaaa?!?! lol

Speaking of which, I best be off to exercise now, while I'm pumped and ready to sweat! By the time I throw my daughter in the tub and get her into bed, I'll be ready for bed myself! hehe More to blog later I'm sure!

Master Cleanse is a Master Pain to start!

Ok so Carl leaving and PMS has killed my diet. I am attempting to get back on the lemonade diet cuz it always kills my cravings for all things salt & BREAD, but MAN it takes me eons to finally stick with it!! Like 2 wks now I've been makin the juice n letting it sit! So far today so good, only some walnuts. Yest was ok til supper when I binged on sloppy joe mix & zesty french fries!!! I was stressed about not getting all my offers finished on FreeLunchRoom.com, instead all my money is being sucked away before I get paid for going green!! Arrrrrrrrrggggg! On a positive note, a guy called about buying my van but I'm willing to be I'll only get $500ish out of it, cuz it's been sitting so long I doubt it even starts, in addition to the head gasket that needs repaired and my stupid loser uncle who demolished the pain job by RAAAAAAAAAKING the lawn mower across every single side of it cutting grass this summer. How STUPID can you be!?!? Well I gotta go check bank accounts again and get a workout in, cuz I've been slackin there too. I did yoga cardio conditioning day before yest, but yest nada cuz I was gone most of the day. I want to stick with my every other day weights and everyday cardio. I feel soooooooooo good then and look bom-chicka-wow-wow!! hehe Happy fasting everyone!

Snow and ICE hehe

Well, my dear Carl has made it back to El Paso after 2 days of airplane mechanical issues. 2 days he should have stayed HERE!! lol But I am elated we already got an extra 5 days together thanks to government funding mess ups. At least now I can focus back on my contest and getting the hot bottom half I want! I did turbulence training for abs wkout B yest, the most wicked of the lot. Ok well ALL 3 are crazy tough, but I'm seeing new muscles I dont think I've EVER had before! Like on the side of my hip -- ooooooooo yes! So long as the fat loss keeps rolling down my body and the muscles keep makin their way south too, I should FINALLY have sexy legs, for like the 1st time since.... ever?? hehe

I have lots of job apps in, hopefully things look up now employment wise. I have an interview next week as a school health aid, which would rock being home when the kids are home, but it's only 10 hrs a week maybe, so I need to find out if there's possibility for more bc I have an uber expensive private high school next year for my younger son, my older one starts driving and will be a jr (college anyone?? Luckily he's wanting to join the AF before he goes to school, then become a cop) and my daughter starts private grade school (kindergarten, which us slightly cheaper then the normal grades) and then there's this little matter of a wedding...lol

Did I mention we went in to size my original ring, and Carl ended up getting me one twice as big and as perfect as ever?? Ok I picked it, but still... he paid the extra! SO pretty! I'm getting a plain shiny white gold band with scattered little diamonds around it, so it doesnt take away from my precious.. hehe I also found a plain shiny white gold band with diamonds only along the bottom, which might be good to solder together, so I will ponder this.. THE NEXT 2-3 YRS!! I am super excited tho bc the priest from my old church said he'd marry us (I am still a member, but attend the church for my kids' school now for the tuition credit) so I was worried he wouldn't. Now it's just a minor eternity waiting to find out if Carl heads to the mid-east again or not so I can set a REAL date and not have my potentials floating around in my head! I know the hall I want so I want to book it asap, and with Notre Dumb football messing up half the weekends in fall it's tricky planning. Once I'm employed I can start looking at dresses, I have lots of ideas and a LONG time to look lol. Luckily with these 2 TT contests I KNOW I will stay in shape for something sexy. And my thigh highs and garter belt I'm working towards! hahahaha

Well I'm watching the downfall of major snow, debating on when to go out and snowblow (the 1st time, it will def need to be done again!) I need to hit the store and get more healthy food for the weekend. Plus I have mega laundry to fold and cardio to get in, so SIGH, I guess I'll get moving now. Happy Friday all, take care!

Happy New Year!!!

WOW I havent blogged on here since early december!!!! Yowzahs!! It's been a great month and a very happy ending to 08! Carl proposed "officially" Xmas eve in front of his family, in his dress blues, and totally surprised me! I was shaking so bad I'm surprised he got that rock on my finger! THEN when we took it in to get sized NYE, he traded up for one twice as big and blingy!!! Swoon! I am quite misty eyed he goes back day after tomorrow, flight leaves at 5am (I hate our airport, no good flights in or out!! When he flies in, its at 11pm, but when he goes, it's 5am! Cant they switch?!?!) Faith will be one sad little girl when he goes, she hasnt left his side since he arrived. AND Carl's bitch azz ex wife not only didnt let his daughter come up after he was in a friggin WAR last Xmas, she didnt so much as call him or let him talk to Victoria!! Can you believe dat chit?? So needless to say, next year when he gets back from Texas, or if he goes to Afghanistan next yr, then when he comes home from THAT, he's takin her to court and just getting full custody. They have joint now, and if that psycho witch is pullin this crap now, yeah, it's only gonna get worse when she finds out Carl proposed!! She wanted to come up here for the holidays and Carl told her to get lost, so therein lies the instigator. Me growing up without my dad, and seeing Faith without her dad (even tho she's over there several days a week!!) LITTLE GIRLS NEED THEIR FATHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Otherwise they are insecure, clingy, get all caught up in crushes and attaching themselves to men. Speaking of which, I need to call the dance studio and get my beanie baby enrolled!!!! SO CUUUUUUUUUUTE in her little leotard!!!

Anyway for me, 2009 is going to be FABULOUS!! I know it, I've decided it! I am going to find the job of my dreams or figure out how to make money online finally, I am going to be (already AM!) in the best shape of my life, I have a beautiful wedding to plan, my son will start driving, maybe go back to school for something, and change my entire attitude to gratitude and stop my obsessive worrying lol. I have Faith thru Him Who stengthens me!

As for now............. I am off to watch the Redwings continue to whip some Blackhawk butt!!! heh heh heh. And see if I can talk Carl into steak for supper..... YUM!! MEAT!!

I WIN!

Kinda, it sure feels like it with the current "up" swing in my life right now! First, Carl and I have a BEAUTIFUL thanksgiving together, so close and loving, and just, connecting. I swear I have never felt so a PART of someone, like a half to a whole, then I do with him. He asked me if I wanted a "sparkly" for Christmas, oh how I would LOVE a ring, but I doubt he's gonna have time to shop and have it sized since he's busting azz in TX to finish his project and come home next week. All in due time, I'll take new dumbells with just as much glee!!

THEN my contest ends and I look HOT! Not as hot as I had first endevoured to be, but considering the backslides and "cheats" and total CHAOS I endured, I think I turned out pretty darn amazing. AND I won a 3 mo membership to the Turbulence Training website!!!! The next contest starts Dec 26, and ends ON MY BDAY Mar 20!! THIS TIME, I am taking it ALL! Bye bye booty, I'm gonna be one hot mama in just over 3 mos baby. I'm checking into personal training courses and holistic/dietary/weight mgmt/naturopathy certifications, and perhaps embark on a complete career now, not only being able to instruct people on healthy lifestyles, but train them and LOL massage them if they get sore!! hahaha There are SO many possibilities with this, studying Craig's bevy of marketing ideas, so I am eager to make 2009 the BEST year ever and finally use ALL my talent God has blessed me with to make people healthier and fitter.

As for me right now, I'm off to lift some weights, I'm UBER excited winning ANYTHING, and achieving the hottest body EVER! Happy health to you all, and to all, a good body! hehe

Another Jack Ass Corn Syrup ad!!

To follow up on the BS original commerials they started airing in an attempt to make us think sugar & corn syrup are *good* in small moderations - NOT!!!

According to the Corn Refiners Association, high-fructose corn syrup contains the same amount of calories as cane and beet sugar, is metabolized by the body the same way as these sweeteners are, and is an all-natural product. Their current ad campaign insists that high-fructose corn syrup is just like honey, which is made by enzymes in a bee's abdomen -- as opposed to the enzymes and acids in centrifuges, ion exchange columns and liquid chromatographers used to make high-fructose corn syrup. High-fructose corn syrup could be all-natural, if cornstarch happened to fall into a vat of alpha-amylase, soak there for a while, then trickle into another vat of glucoamylase, get strained to remove the Aspergillus fungus likely growing on top, and then find its way into some industrial-grade D-xylose isomerase.

High-fructose corn syrup is indeed similar to cane sugar in that it is about 50 percent fructose and 50 percent glucose. The American Medical Association issued a statement explaining that "high-fructose syrup does not appear to contribute more to obesity than other caloric sweeteners" ... but they also said that "consumers [should] limit the amount of all added caloric sweeteners to no more than 32 grams of sugar daily." Most sodas contain about 40 grams of high-fructose corn syrup.Sources:

Live Science October 21, 2008 Dr. Mercola's Comments: By now you’re probably familiar with the advertisements claiming that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is “no worse for you than sugar.” What gets me about this campaign, run by the Corn Refiners Association, is this: What decent food product has ever needed to spend up to $30 million to convince consumers it’s inherently safe to eat? The mere fact that these ads are defending corn syrup as a natural, healthy, and safe sweetener should be a tipoff to all that something is missing from the picture. Where are the ads defending the use of sugar? Where are the ads defending salt? Both of these have obvious health ramifications if consumed in excess, but no one has ever needed to spend millions to convince you they’re no worse than something else, and that it’s okay to keep consuming them.

The Truth about High Fructose Corn Syrup
The truth is, scientists have linked the rising HFCS consumption to the epidemics of obesity, diabetes and metabolic syndrome in the U.S., and medical researchers have pinpointed various health dangers associated with the consumption of HFCS compared to regular sugar. This is why the corn industry is now scrambling to save face and profits – NOT because it’s really okay to consume an average of 59 pounds a year of this stuff.

The American Medical Association issued a statement on June 17, 2008, stating that "high-fructose syrup does not appear to contribute more to obesity than other caloric sweeteners." However, they also recommend you limit the amount of ALL added caloric sweeteners to no more than 32 grams of sugar daily, which, by the way, comes out to just over 25.5 pounds of sugar per year. The AMA’s recommendation is over five-and-a-half-times less than the current yearly sugar consumption of the average American – which currently weighs in around 142 pounds a year -- but is still five times higher than my own recommendation of 5 pounds of added sugar per year. Their evaluation that HFCS is not a major contributor to obesity is puzzling, considering the fact that the number one source of calories in America is soda, which contains about 40 grams of HFCS per can – more than the AMA’s recommended daily maximum for ALL caloric sweeteners. And that’s without adding in all the corn syrup now found in every type of processed, pre-packaged food you can think of. In fact, the use of high fructose corn syrup in the U.S. diet increased a staggering 10,673 percent between 1970 and 2005, according to the latest USDA Dietary Assessment of Major Trends in U.S. Food Consumption report (whereas sucrose consumption declined by 38 percent), far exceeding changes in intake of any other food or food group. And what kinds of foods account for more than 90 percent of the money Americans spend on their meals? You guessed it: processed food. All in all, according to the USDA’s report, about one-quarter of the calories consumed by the average American is in the form of added sugars – the majority of which comes from high fructose corn syrup. Folks, this is a prescription for disaster.

Why High Fructose Corn Syrup IS Worse For You than Sugar
If you need to lose weight, or if you want to avoid diabetes and heart disease, fructose is one type of sugar you’ll want to avoid, particularly in the form of high-fructose corn syrup. Part of what makes HFCS such an unhealthy product is that it is metabolized to fat in your body far more rapidly than any other sugar.According to Dr. Elizabeth Parks, associate professor of clinical nutrition at UT Southwestern Medical Center, and lead author of a recent study on fructose in the Journal of Nutrition:
"Our study shows for the first time the surprising speed with which humans make body fat from fructose. Once you start the process of fat synthesis from fructose, it's hard to slow it down. The bottom line of this study is that fructose very quickly gets made into fat in the body."How does this happen? Well, most fats are formed in your liver, and when sugar enters your liver, it decides whether to store it, burn it or turn it into fat. Fructose, however, bypasses this process and turns full speed ahead into fat.
"It's basically sneaking into the rock concert through the fence," Dr. Parks said in a previous interview with Science Daily. "It's a less-controlled movement of fructose through these pathways that causes it to contribute to greater triglyceride [i.e. fat] synthesis.” Ironically, the very products that most people rely on to lose weight -- low-fat diet foods -- are often those that contain the most fructose! Even “natural” diet foods often contain fructose as a sweetener.

How You Can Drastically Improve Your Overall Health
If you want to drastically improve your health, the answer is quite simple. To lose weight and reduce your risk of developing metabolic syndrome, diabetes, and heart disease, STOP drinking soda and processed fruit juices that are sweetened with about eight teaspoons of fructose per serving! Switch to pure water as your beverage of choice and you will be well on your way to better health.Genetic factors clearly play an important role in the development of obesity. However, the rapidity with which the current epidemic of obesity has hit the United States and the rest of the world makes diet and lifestyle a far more likely explanation. To preserve your health you need to focus your diet on whole foods based on your personal biochemistry, and, if you do purchase packaged foods, become an avid label reader and severely limit your consumption of goods that contain corn syrup as a main ingredient.

When in a Pinch, Choose Your Poison
However, like most areas in life, when presented with two poisons, choose carefully. Even though HFCS is clearly something you want to avoid, it is not as bad as artificial sweeteners, which damage your health even more rapidly than HFCS. (I spent several years researching artificial sweeteners for my book Sweet Deception, which goes into these issues in great detail). So, for example, if you have to choose between soda sweetened with HFCS (regular soda) or artificial sweeteners (diet soda), choose HFCS. The best and safest sweetener (although illegal to use as a food additive, according to the FDA) would be the herb stevia. Personally I use a liquid stevia to flavor my Tulsi tea and it is one of the most delightful drinks I have ever had.

Related Articles: Debate About Dangers of High-Fructose Corn Syrup Dramatic Example of How the Food Industry Lies to You About Corn Scientific Proof Carbohydrates Cause Disease

Hmmph

Well, a VAST majority of the online "jobs" are nothing but scams, and I swear I do not think there is one legitimate job on craigslist in the South Bend/Mishawaka area!!!! I think instead I will focus more on getting more massage clients, and blogging or writing for money. I am a creative person with a million interests, why not me? Anyway, it does make me rather nervous going to people's houses to rub them, I've only done folks I know thus far, so to start advertising means I'll get strangers now. Nothing yet from the salon, but I have to get re-licensed first anyhow. AND I can't find my massage school notes, and the health inspector is a real jerk who thinks we're all a bunch of secret prostitutes. NOT!!!! I am making it VERY clear on my massage website THERAPEUTIC ONLY!!!!!!!!!!! Luckily in the 8 yrs I've been massaging there has only been 2-3 men who got a lil to happy being rubbed, and only one who actually propositioned me. Um no, the massage is over now, you can get dressed and leave! I so wanted to tell him, if you're gonna try n make a pass at a therapist, you should at least have a respectable man package, not a teeny weinie HAHAHAHA. I was too flustered to crack on him at the time, I just wanted him gone. So, we'll see how the home massages work. There's a dance studio who needs a receptionist, I'm all over that tomorrow. I love NOTHING more in this world (besides Carl) then dancing, in all it's forms!!!! Crossing my fingers there, tho I'm sure it'll pay pennies but I can supplement with my rub downs n hey, maybe get a few dancer clients along the way! lol OR maybe I'll get a discount on classes, oooooooo that would be GOLDEN. Well, my dear readers, I am off to sit in a rain & snow mix, 34*, to cheer on my son's team the second year in a row playing in the regional championship football game. I'm a great mom! Ha I have a thermal lined sweatshirt and Carl's huge on my lined raincoat to hopefully keep my chillt body warm (I love being anemic and hypothyroid, makes winter fun!) Wish me luck, I dont want to get sick when I have people to rub and a job to get!!!! Toodles!